Saying yes

I push the large cart through aisles of organization.  Perfect rows of order laugh right out from their space as if they know I am anything but, and I wonder if it is always so obvious that I don't have it all together.  My girls meander behind me as we hunt for school supplies, and we are not finding the necessaries.

Frustration fans flames and I reprimand myself for waiting until the last minute just for a good deal.  I scold them for being kids, and soon the whole store is feeling hot.

The littlest one skips away on a new adventure and returns with the plastic version of a grocery cart.  She happily pushes it alongside me, and I sigh that heated plea.

"We are not buying that!  Put it back."

She continues her walk oblivious to my lack of control of all this life lived right here in the open.

I pause and look around before I follow.  I think I hear a voice calling me, but no one is there.

I take a few steps more then stop again to see a lady smiling at me.  I return the greeting then continue on my way.

"Ma'am?" she calls again.  I wait in dread for the moment that she will share with me how to parent properly.

She follows closer, waiting until she has my full attention before she speaks her truth.  "Can I buy that cart for your little girl?  Please?"


Surprise enters into all of me, and I'm embarrassed for my impatience towards my children, for words I've spoken to them in the fury moments of not having life work out the way I'd planned.  I wonder if her grace offer was out of pity toward children having a mother like that, and my cheeks burn.

She senses my hesitation.  "It's just that I've seem them all playing so well together, and it makes me happy.  Oh, please can I buy it for them?  It would do my heart good."

She waits for a yes, "Please?"

Her kindness reaches down into this frustrated being, and smoothes the rough lines straight.  I wonder in that moment if I'm looking at Jesus.  I wonder if he has called my name in the middle of this store to stop my hurried life to say wait, listen. I have something for you.

I see him there waiting with that patient smile.  I see him offering his gifts to me just because it makes his heart good, and all he wants is for me to say yes.  Pleading with me to give one humble yes.

"Yes," I reply to her.  I accept the offer of this great favor undeserved, and she thanks me.

She thanks me!

All these loved hearts are filled with goodness and the wild fires are snuffed out to make space for the gift of grace.