He came to fail

I wonder how she felt as she wrapped her new born baby in strips of cloth.  Did she wish she had a proper place to lay his tiny head?  Only months before, she had been promised that her child would be great, and his kingdom would reign over Israel.  She was called into royalty, and I'm sure this was not the beginning she had imagined for the future king.

And in 33 short years, she would live to see how his humble birth set the precedent for his humiliating and painful death.  She wept below the foot of the cross, as her boy suffered in agony while a mocking world listened to his words, "It is finished."  By all standards of what humanity can comprehend, his life was over and he had failed.  And what of her promise?  What of the moments she had gathered over the years and held so closely to her heart that reminded her that her son was purposed for greatness?

You and I have the benefit of seeing the whole picture.  We get to know how the last chapter reads.  It wasn't his life that was finished, it was the fulfillment of the promise.  We understand that the failure of Jesus was God's perfect plan for his life; through his death and resurrection, we are forgiven, redeemed, and saved.  The tiny babe born in the manger became the king, became the Savior.  But not until he gave up his life.

There are moments when the weight of moving to another country and starting a new life overwhelm me.  I worry.  I ask myself "what if" questions.

What if . . . I am overcome by homesickness?
What if . . . my kids are miserable?
What if . . . we don't have enough funding?
What if . . . we have a medical emergency?
What if . . . we fail?

These questions bring my thoughts back to the beginning of this story.  That first chapter weaved the unmistakable call of God into our lives as he invited us to follow him to Nicaragua.  I have never been so sure of a decision, and even so, we are not promised a life of the human standard of success.  If our lives are to look like Jesus, then perhaps we have to lose them completely before we are to fulfill our calling.

I don't know how the last chapter reads; I only know what today brings.  And I know I hold the promise of a Savior who tells me he has a perfect purpose and plan for my life.  I suppose the details look a lot like moving to another country to share the gospel of Jesus Christ, but the bigger picture is that we aren't being called to a place; we are being called to a person.

I believe the only way to truly fail, is to never answer the call.