Writings and Ramblings

I cradle it gently in my hands, taking care not to let go.  My finger traces the etchings of BOSTON on the side of the mug, and it somehow represents more to me than a simple souvenir.  I'm remembering what I left behind.  I drain the heated brew taking it in, swallowing it down as I wonder when the lump in my throat will follow.

I've been asked, "How are you?" and I find that that question has never been so difficult to answer.  I can't find the words.  I can't choose any certain feeling among the many that are holding me hostage.  This is one of many thoughts that have kept my mind busy over the past week.  So many questions, so few answers and the weight of it all brings me to my knees where I can only seem to utter one word, "God?"

I was standing just beyond the 26 mile marker, a tribute to those 26 lives recently silenced by the unexpected evil in Newtown, Connecticut.  I, being one witness of many sharing in the joy of those who had left behin…

Your life is about to change.  That's what everybody is telling you.  You think you already know what they mean, and you are ready.  You have imagined this life since you could hold a baby doll. 

I'm here to tell you that you have no idea!  Be prepared.


In a few weeks, you will find out from your doctor that the little boy living inside your womb is right side up and this will be the first time he turns your world upside down.  Those 10 long weeks of Bradley classes where you learned how to be strong through the pain of childbirth? . . . a waste of time.  You'd have been better off preparing your heart for the aches that come after that child screams his way into your arms.  You are going to cry your selfish, helpless, little eyes out right in front of the doctor, because before he even enters the world God is going to use that boy to break you.  Time and again you will say goodbye to what you had in mind, and you will take what God is giving you.  You will learn and lea…