Showing posts from May, 2018

The secret to finding God's will for your life

I once held preconceived ideas about the character of missionaries.  Being raised in church all my life, one would think I had met several, but I had not.  I think in some ways they are thought of as being on a higher spiritual plain, possessing the most beautiful of Godly principles.  Surely they are selfless and sacrificial, driven and adventurous, bold and fearless, visionaries and leaders.

But then I became one.

I know who I am, and who I am not.  People can look at the outside and assume they know the heart, but they cannot.  Maybe I managed to make some tough decisions on the way to serving as a missionary, but every single one carried its own dark fear.  I have never been bold, and certainly not thought of as a leader.  I am admittedly selfish too.  But somehow none of these things disqualified me.

In the four years since I first set foot in Nicaragua, I have learned a great deal about the character of God and His perfect will for my life.  I used to believe that His plan had e…

In the morning, I rise

I get up after hitting my snooze button on my phone for the 3rd time.

I get up for many reasons – reasons I’m not quite sure of yet as I stumble out of bed from my sleep/sleepless night.

I steady my off balanced footing and stomp through my motherly garments that I have rightfully earned– the comfy pants, slippers, t-shirt, and oversized cardigan/ know the one you wore the past three mornings – that one.

I trip out of my bedroom into the hallway that could have landmines of legos, tape, open doors, babydolls, matchbox cars, chair-legs, etc. I sacrifice myself to get one step closer to the aroma of delayed brew coffee – thank the Lord every morning for delayed brew coffee.

I pour my cup, open up my devotional app on my phone and begin swiping and scrolling through readings and verses and quickly write down in my journal the thoughts that float through my brain so that I might actually remember them at the end of the reading.

The app I use allows you to see what your friends hav…

This letting go

I am looking back on life and wondering how I have lived so many years.  The lines of my face age me, but inside I feel just shy of twenty.  My children are the reminders of all the time I have passed through.  The fade of the sun and the rise of the moon have transformed them.  I remember their beginning and many of the moments that have brought them to where they are now.  I have been there savoring the gifts that time brings, and loving the journey of being a mom.  And through all of these years I have come to believe that the hardest part and the most beautiful is the letting go.

My son had surgery last week that prevents him from putting any weight on one of his legs for at least six weeks. He has been hobbling his way through our home, up and down the stairs on crutches.  He is still the boy he has always been, pushing the boundaries of his abilities, full of confidence and lacking the fear that could keep him safe.  All of my warnings of the consequences that will follow a fall…