Burning heart

Oh how it wishes, one heart in steady beat pounding out this burning desire to be made new.  I know how it must move through tested fire and come out dripping sparks of pain, and it hurts to touch that blackened part of me with nerves exposed.

And I am waiting. . .to become pure gold.

I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure. I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold. They will call on my name, and I will answer them. I will say, 'These are my people,' and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.'" Zechariah 13:9

In all this waiting and burning and testing, I cry.  I cry out in whispered breath to be saved from all of this. From myself!  No tear-filled ocean can power wave over flames and extinguish all that must burn right down to nothingness.  I pray that barren Hannah prayer with silent lips moving, and only God can interpret the groans.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2

While angry fire burns this wretched, sinful heart into the gray of ash, He waits and I feel slow.  The flicker shines heat on holy face for I know I am not alone.  His mercy glows.

Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

In time I offer heaps of thin, wispy matter to God Almighty.  Who, but God, would wait so patiently, expectantly, eagerly to trade the ugly for the breath-stealing beautiful?  Such is His amazing grace that soothes the raw, red ache of everything in me.

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