My list is noted

It was on my birthday that I bought a bike with a gift card I had received as a present.  I haven't owned a bike for more than twenty years, and already I was imagining family bike rides on the pathways of beautiful parks.  I knew we would have to invest in a bike rack, so already I had placed that idea in the back of my head to find a good deal on one.

The following week brought the day when the door fell down and I stood there coming apart at the hinges.

Isaiah and Eliza were tossing a ball in our garage.  I was just above it, folding laundry in my room when I heard the lurch of twisting metal, the sick cries of a groaning machine.  It all ended with a crash, and a high pitched scream from Liza.  My heart was beating wild, far too close to my throat, and somehow my legs couldn't keep up with the speed of it all as I hurried down the steps.

I was sure when I opened the door leading into the garage that I would find one of my children crushed beneath the weight of something.  I readied myself for blood and bones laying gory upon the gray of the garage floor.  There were too many thoughts in those brief seconds, and I knew I must face what was already true and unchangeable.

I swung the door wide, and saw Isaiah there.  He was standing shocked, wide eyed, and afraid.  He was whole and unharmed.  Liza found her way to my side, a trembling life filled body.

My soul inhaled the pain of the moment and exhaled the breath of sweet relief.  All is well. . .

I looked into the mangled mess of the door hanging haphazardly from a few questionable bolts, and with a shaky tone I ordered my children into the safety of our house.  I shrugged the problem free from my thoughts with the assurance that, "Daddy will fix it when he gets home."

As Tim walked up the drive a few hours later, he took in  the mess that greeted him.  Calmly he laid his belongings down and headed directly into the danger zone.  He pulled and grabbed and yanked and tugged all of that impossibly large door as he tried to close it to secure our home.  All of his sweat worthy work twisted the door even farther off its hinges and eventually it wrenched apart at the fold.

By this time, I realized that it was going to cost us money to get it fixed.  Suddenly, I was no longer rejoicing in the moment of safety, but throwing myself a stress party complete with huffs, puffs, and, exaggerated sighs.  I ran the numbers in my head, and most of them were large and came straight from the fund that is sending us to Nicaragua this summer.

Tim wanted to talk through what must be done, and I couldn't bear to listen.  I didn't want to deal with this problem that was facing me head on.  I didn't want to see it, discuss it, or pay for it, but the whole mess of it was just outside my door and I knew I must.  We called the repairman, who charged time and a half for after hours, and waited for him to fix what seemed like an impossible problem requiring a half day of work.

Then it was done and over in an hour, and we think he cut us a break on the price.  We settled thankfully into our beds that night, grateful that we had the money to pay for it and that it wasn't more than we had imagined.

A few days later, Tim and I were conversing with family over Easter dinner.  I mentioned how I had bought a bike with my birthday money, and was excited to finally have one after all of this time.  Our Uncle shared his own love of bike riding, and how he had just bought a new rack to carry his bikes.  He asked if we would be interested in buying his other rack for a good price.  My interest was piqued and as we inquired further we found that his good price ended up being free.  I doubt that he knows how God used him to bless us.

Today, I sit quiet by the couch with my thoughts to keep me occupied.  God visits me in these moments of solitude, revealing His goodness and blessings.  He helps me to make the connection that I cannot make while preoccupied knee deep in the day.  I whisper my gratitude.  My list is long on daily needs, and even longer on things I desire.  God is there reading over my shoulder, gently holding my hand as he marks them off for me.

Matthew 6:25-34
New Living Translation (NLT)
25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God[a] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.


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